Live Journal Writers Block Question

Who has it easier—men or women? Why or why not?
Submitted By rona_emo

As you all know, I am female. I'm just speaking to the start of a relationship here. Nothing else. In that regards, I believe that women have it a HELL of a lot easier. At least I have. I've never had to be the person to ask a guy out. When I was 18-20, I was on a medication called Zyprexa. If you want to know what it does, there's a nifty little search engine called Google. Use it. And yes, that *is* what I was on it for. :) One of the nasty little side effects of that medication was bloating and severe weight gain. I ballooned to an incredible (for my 5'3" frame) 220lbs and wearing size 22 pants before I was taken off of it at the end of my 20th year. I lost 110lbs in a little under a year. *Just* from going off that medication.

Even at that size, I was still getting approached for dates and relationships. And the guys I did date were reasonably good guys. Marty was commitment phobic. Not that I wanted a commitment. He was a good guy, and we parted on good, but permanent terms. I had one FWB. If memory serves me correctly, his name was Scotty? LOL. It was a decent experience. Not great (but then again, I can't compare ANYONE before my Scott *to* Scott because they all sucked compared to --yeah, I'll leave it at that.) I think I was really only doing it with him (the FWB, not Scott lol) to up my experience level. I know that sounds horrible, but you just had to understand the way it worked with us. We both were just out for sex. I didn't want a relationship at the time. I don't remember how it ended, I think it was just one of those things where you lose touch with someone? Meh, not important.

I didn't date seriously until I was 21 with Robert, and then Scott. Scott's and my relationship started out a little different in that I knew a little about him from what Patty told me. I did call him first, but I didn't ask him out first. He asked me out, and I told him to just come over and I'd make something. And if you've known me for a long time, you'll know how *that* night ended up. :)

But I have massively digressed. The point is, in relationships, women almost *always* have the upper hand. There may be exceptions. I'm not saying everyone's experience is the same. I have just never had an experience where I've had to actively seek a relationship. And let's face it. That's hard to do. At least it would be to me. I've never been the type of person to actively seek out even friendships, much less relationships. Most of the time, IRL, people come to me.

Men are expected to be active pursuers. At clubs they are expected to approach the women. And the guy who may be just a little awkward, or nervous, you see those poor guys get shot down all the time. In my experience, it's those guys who normally always make the most devoted and loving partners. He's the guy that hates dancing but who will dance with you anyway, even though you both look like a couple of ducks waddling together on the dance floor. (Who said I can't dance?) Seriously, though. I can't. But I love to try.

When the hell did one question turn into long ass stroll down memory lane? Well at least I've enjoyed the trip.