My God, I’m showing my stupid

what is a graphic short story? I can do short stories, no problem, but I can’t fucking draw. I’m kind of doing my cousin’s homework. I read the book last night, it’s about the integration of Central High School in Little Rock Arkansas in 1958. Amazingly easy, but I’m thinking, “WTF graphic short story” and I can’t get a definition anywhere (Google has failed me) and I can write a short story in my sleep (I’ve got a great idea and I’ll post it here when I’m done.) The closest I’ve got is “graphic novel” and I’m like, “WTF? My cousin is in a lower level English class. They expect these kids to draw?” I love my boy, but he just struggles so hard to get through the simplest subjects at school. I’d like to see him get his diploma, at least, though. If he doesn’t, he’s going to have no chance. He does okay in his math classes, but English eludes him. So what the hell.

And he’s been having problems this year. Mental problems. His senior year. God knows I wouldn’t have graduated if my dad hadn’t helped me out, and by helped me out I mean did my homework for me. I was homebound that year, suffering serious mental illness and periodic hospitalizaions. He has come dangerously close to being hospitalized this year. I see it as being a matter of time, really. I’m going to get him probably an A, if I get the instructions right. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got it other than “graphic short story”. That should bump his average up enough to pass him.

And if I wrote the words to a song I write, would anyone be able to make music to it?

Sleep seems to be eluding me tonight

Ah, hypomania. Welcome back, homegirl. And Aunt Flo's staying for an extended visit. The cousins have also come bearing gifts. Crampy has been a particular joy this time around. OMG, give me a heated spoon and I'll remove the ovaries myself. Heated. Spoon. Moody and Bitchy have been making their appearance, egged on by homegirl mania. Luckily, Weepy is nowhere in sight. I tell you, I can be a bitch when I'm in a normal mood, but at least I feel bad about it. When I'm hypomanic, (or, God forbid, manic) I'm not just a bitch, I'm an unrepentant bitch. Add Aunt Flo to the mix and you'll have to thank my high functioning frontal lobe for the fact that there is no streets running with the blood of the innocent in sleepy Columbus, IN. Weepy will show up later, after the crash, and bring her twin brother Guilt.

I'm not feeling quite human right now. Thankfully, I don't see the insanity lasting for much longer than a day or two. I hope.

Thoughts on my own bisexuality

I’m 31 years old. I’ve never been with a woman. Not that I’ve not wanted to…OMG I’ve wanted to. But I live in a conservative, Midwestern town and it just seemed I couldn’t meet one gay female. The very few I did meet, just no. It didn’t work.

When I was single. Of course, now that I’m in a relationship I’m very happy with (with an amazing man) I seem to be the Columbus gay girl magnet.

There’s this girl who now works at Circle K (where I used to work also) who has actively flirted with me. Of course, she sees me come in with my boyfriend, but she’s still just really cool. I would guess she’s mid twenties, maybe late 20’s. She’s taller than me, stocky, but actually kind of sexy in a way that I just can’t describe.

If I were single, she is exactly the kind of person I’d like to have my first female experience with. She’s fun, cute and charismatic.

Damn my monogamous heart.

Just chilling

Still haven't turned the TV off football yet.

WTF? Maybe because I'm so accustomed to having it as background to net surfing and general fucking around on the computer because the boyfriend fucking L.O.V.E.S. it. I can handle it, up to a point. I like the local hometeam (Colts) because they don't seem to be douchey douchingtons compared to a lot of the other teams but I really think I've just developed a tolerance, kind of like a disease you've been exposed to over and over again.