Only the Germans could actually name this feeling

Schadenfreude. Feeling pleasure at other people's misfortune or failure. I watched the Charlie Sheen interview, and if that doesn't qualify as "fail"...I don't know what does. And I'm sorry, I laughed all the way through it. Is there a more arrogant shit on the planet?

I can't really say I feel sorry for the guy, even if he is bipolar because he's could get help for himself if he wanted to. Most people can't do that. There are people who would like to get help and can't because they can't afford it. So no, I don't feel AT ALL bad for him.

He's not that fucking talented. He plays...himself on TV. If I was making fucking 2 million dollars an episode on a hit TV show for just being myself...and I made a complete ass of myself, AGAIN...I'd want to keep that kush job. I'd be in rehab right now and licking so much bunghole when I came out, my mouth would taste like shit for a month. Can you imagine an easier job, seriously? Fuck, he doesn't even have to have another name on the show. He plays himself with his same name. Oh, that's superb acting!

And I call bullshit on the "negative" drug test. I can go buy fake pee at Karma right now and pass a drug screen. I'm sure no one actually watched him piss in a cup.

I guess there are women who will put themselves in physical danger to be with him because he's rich and he's Charlie Sheen. Oh, never mind all the women he's beaten the holy shit out of. He's got two, yes, TWO women fucking him right now. What the holy eff? He may actually kill someone one of these days. Not that he'll serve any time for it. He is Charlie Sheen, in his own mind, king of the universe with billions of fans. Yes, he said billions. Even though there are 7 billion people on this planet and I'm pretty fucking sure 6 billion are completely unaware that he exists. You are famous in America, douchebag. The rest of the world doesn't give a shit about you.

If any self respecting judge gives this guy custody of those two babies, I hope that judge dies in a slow fire. I'd be glad to strike the match.

Even though I like the show, I hope it ends. I hope he spends all his money on hookers and coke and lawsuits.

I want to see this walking asshole on legs crash and burn Lindsay Lohan style.

You know what?

If we are electing idiots like Bobby Franklin into anything with more public responsibility than garbage collector, then I actually fucking HOPE the world ends in 2012.  If humanity can't do any better than it is doing, I hope we blow ourselves apart. 

Are you fucking kidding me?  This person is an elected official.  I have to call my friend, from Georgia, and ask him "What the actual fuck are you guys THINKING down there?"

For fuck's sake, like it's not difficult enough for a woman to go through a miscarriage.  All I know, is that if this fuckery actually passes, if you're pregnant and living in Georgia, I suggest you run, don't walk to your car and drive the fuck out of that state...and pray to God you don't miscarry on the way to a state without insane people as elected officials. 

So good news on the girly part front (TMI, clearly labled TMI)

I got a referral from my doctor yesterday. I love her!

So I get to go see a gynecologist, to see why in the hell I'm bleeding 3x in a month and a half. On March 15th at 2:30. I'm probably waiting, because I specifically asked for a female doctor. I've never had a guy give me a full exam (except when I first went into labor, one of the men was on duty, but as I was having strong contractions every 3 minutes, I would've let Charles Manson give me an exam as long as he had the power of Epidural).

So...for the first time in my life, I'm actually looking forward to having an exam (and maybe a pap) to see why the hell my uterus hates me sooo much?

Is it too much to ask

...if you are going to sing your national anthem in public, please for the love of God know the fucking words? If you don't know, learn. Especially if you sing in public for a living, Christina Aguilera. And at the motherfucking super bowl!



Otherwise, you will never be asked to sing the national anthem in public ever again. Ask Roseanne Barr.



...at least Roseanne knew the fucking words. She may have sucked out loud, but she knew the words and in what order they come in.

My God, I’m showing my stupid

what is a graphic short story? I can do short stories, no problem, but I can’t fucking draw. I’m kind of doing my cousin’s homework. I read the book last night, it’s about the integration of Central High School in Little Rock Arkansas in 1958. Amazingly easy, but I’m thinking, “WTF graphic short story” and I can’t get a definition anywhere (Google has failed me) and I can write a short story in my sleep (I’ve got a great idea and I’ll post it here when I’m done.) The closest I’ve got is “graphic novel” and I’m like, “WTF? My cousin is in a lower level English class. They expect these kids to draw?” I love my boy, but he just struggles so hard to get through the simplest subjects at school. I’d like to see him get his diploma, at least, though. If he doesn’t, he’s going to have no chance. He does okay in his math classes, but English eludes him. So what the hell.

And he’s been having problems this year. Mental problems. His senior year. God knows I wouldn’t have graduated if my dad hadn’t helped me out, and by helped me out I mean did my homework for me. I was homebound that year, suffering serious mental illness and periodic hospitalizaions. He has come dangerously close to being hospitalized this year. I see it as being a matter of time, really. I’m going to get him probably an A, if I get the instructions right. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got it other than “graphic short story”. That should bump his average up enough to pass him.

And if I wrote the words to a song I write, would anyone be able to make music to it?

Sleep seems to be eluding me tonight

Ah, hypomania. Welcome back, homegirl. And Aunt Flo's staying for an extended visit. The cousins have also come bearing gifts. Crampy has been a particular joy this time around. OMG, give me a heated spoon and I'll remove the ovaries myself. Heated. Spoon. Moody and Bitchy have been making their appearance, egged on by homegirl mania. Luckily, Weepy is nowhere in sight. I tell you, I can be a bitch when I'm in a normal mood, but at least I feel bad about it. When I'm hypomanic, (or, God forbid, manic) I'm not just a bitch, I'm an unrepentant bitch. Add Aunt Flo to the mix and you'll have to thank my high functioning frontal lobe for the fact that there is no streets running with the blood of the innocent in sleepy Columbus, IN. Weepy will show up later, after the crash, and bring her twin brother Guilt.

I'm not feeling quite human right now. Thankfully, I don't see the insanity lasting for much longer than a day or two. I hope.

Thoughts on my own bisexuality

I’m 31 years old. I’ve never been with a woman. Not that I’ve not wanted to…OMG I’ve wanted to. But I live in a conservative, Midwestern town and it just seemed I couldn’t meet one gay female. The very few I did meet, just no. It didn’t work.

When I was single. Of course, now that I’m in a relationship I’m very happy with (with an amazing man) I seem to be the Columbus gay girl magnet.

There’s this girl who now works at Circle K (where I used to work also) who has actively flirted with me. Of course, she sees me come in with my boyfriend, but she’s still just really cool. I would guess she’s mid twenties, maybe late 20’s. She’s taller than me, stocky, but actually kind of sexy in a way that I just can’t describe.

If I were single, she is exactly the kind of person I’d like to have my first female experience with. She’s fun, cute and charismatic.

Damn my monogamous heart.