I must admit, Veggie, you are right.

I had a strange obsession with owning a snuggie. I love blankets, and I think, a blanket with sleeves, perfect! I'm not over the age of 65 yet so I will not be wearing the thing in public. Ever. People my age and younger do this, and as much as I thought this was going to be the coolest invention ever made, I do not think the snuggie look is stylin for the ages of 13-65. They should be forbidden public wear for those age groups.

So a week ago, I buy one. I go to CVS and bought the one that donates money to breast cancer research. That would be the only positive part of the Snuggie experience. It was bright cotton candy pink Snuggie with a pocket. I'm over the moon.

Until I get the fucker home and I realize something. Snuggies are not for short people. I am a short person. 5'3" and a clumsy mc'klutz even when I don't try to move with a 6 foot blanket in my path because I do forget to pick the fucker up. I'm glad that my superpower is that I do not trip. My elementary school was a combat zone. I had to train my brain to never trip. Not that the snotnosed fuckers wouldn't try. I'm clumsy, I drop shit and bump into shit, bump into people. I will never be comfortable in a china shop. But I do not trip.

After the age of 65, I'm going to aspire to the wear the most loud, ridiculous, bedazzled crazy cat lady clothes. Because if you live to be so old, you should be able to say and wear and do whatever the fuck you want. I don't think I'd ever be obnoxious to someone who isn't obnoxious to me, but after that age (except in extreme cases of pissing me off, then I'll let you know now) I will let you know exactly how much you suck as a human being.

The Snuggie has become my most expensive cat blanket. Jinxie loves it.



She loves Scott and will claim his lap when he gets home. But I've been going for walks lately, and Scott tells me that Jinxie will wait by the back door and cry the entire time I'm gone. We call her puppycat because she will follow me everywhere and she feels she must at least go into every room I'm in. I haven't been to the bathroom by myself in years. I have never had or met a cat that is so much a baby. And it's so funny. Every once in a while when I let her go outside with me (which isn't very often) and when she gets the urge to leave the yard (even rarer still), the timing of the cars around here is brilliant. Because she forgets that now when she goes into the backyard, she's going to see those big scary things that make big noise move, and she'll flatten on the ground, look back at me and cry, then when I'll pick her up she'll cling to my shoulder. She'll forget about being brave for while.

I'm convinced this cat is made entirely out of sunshine, cuddles, kisses and love.

OMFG I am such a moron!

I couldn't remember either the email or the password of this account. And I finally get it right? IT'S MY CURRENT EMAIL! I swear I tried that before. I have 2 google accounts though and that's probably what fucked me.

Here comes a creepy doll.


Or is this the creepiest fucking thing ever made? I'm not even a Justin Bieber hater. I'm not a fan, I find his music annoying, but he seems like a pretty okay kid. It's refreshing to see a good kid out there. Jadi likes him. I believe a lot of little girls between the ages of 5 and 12 have raving crushes on him. As a thought, every girl in my elementary school from the 4th grade down had raving crushes on the New Kids on the Block. Patty still does (Donny Wahlberg) You may want to read the tags before you go further, because I don't feel like putting in a LJ cut. To continue, everyone BUT me. I fucking hated New Kids on the Block when it was really, really not cool to do so. Like I could be any MORE unpopular in elementary school. My poor parents bought me a beach towel with New Kids on the Block on it, thinking I would like it. I had to inform my sweet, misguided parents that I really did not like them, and refused to take it to school during our infrequent swimming lessons at another school. When my peers would ask which one I liked, most of the time I'd answer, "I don't." but if pressed, I'd perversely say the name of the least popular one. Jordan I think his name was? I actually still do have the towel. I can't tell you how many times I've wiped my ass with that thing if I've been out of toilet paper. I wash it, I mean, shit washes out. And the water gets really, really hot here. But yeah, that's pretty much the only thing I use it for. /New Kids rant.

Yeah, my child is refreshingly normal. A very gifted child, I believe, but normal and very well liked by all her peers. It's hard being different. Not so hard as an adult, at least for me.

Anyway, the doll is fucking creepy. If anyone has any pictures of New Kids dolls, I think I'll spork my own eyeballs out.

Holy bloody hell do I suck!

Okay. I will make up for the way lack of posting on here. I've been neglecting the shit out of LJ too. I've just been way tired and there's just been so much shit. Most of it family. Bleh. My daughter is 7 years old now! Where the hell has the time gone? My niece is turning 6 on the 2nd of March. I turn 31 in less than a month. I need to email you and update you on all the crazy stuff that I will not post on here. Today, however, was a great day. Exhausting, but great.

I will, at some point, write a better post. Right now I'm exhausted. I'm just going to leave with one final thought. I fucking hate winter.

Moving sucks

Even just moving around the corner. Yes, we literally moved around the corner. Not all of our little shit is out of our old place yet.

OMG I've been sick. Like going to the emergency room sick. I've been 3x since Friday morning. Once Friday morning around 7:30am after throwing up all night and having horrible pain, once at around 6pm Saturday night and then 2am Sunday morning. My poor boyfriend's birthday, may I add. I was dehydrated *every* time! It wasn't the nausea that was the problem. I can handle nausea at home. It was the pain. The ungodly, twisting, grinding and sharp pain in my upper abdominal region. Ok, so the first time I go in, Friday morning, I get a shot of Zofran (which my fucking insurance won't cover UNLESS I get it through ER treatment) and Dilaudid (and this shit is...well, let's just say it fucks your shit up.) And I hate it. There's a difference between stoned and outer space, and this shit will send you to outer space. Not the best feeling for someone like me. Hate it. But it works. The relief is so worth it. 5 minutes later and it's like, "ahhhh". Well, I go in Friday morning, get treated, get IV fluids and go home. He tells me to come back if I need to. I'm okay. And here's where I fuck up.

My best friend and her husband come down. They're down here like once in a blue moon, and so we meet at Applebees. I order a steak, and a baked potato. And I eat mozzarella sticks. Not so brilliant for someone who was puking up everything the day before. So I'm back Saturday at 6pm and the doctor, naturally, tells me about it. My best friend took me to the ER this time and I think she got a little offended. But you know what? He was just telling me what I needed to know and what I did know and I told him I knew and should've been more careful. He was treating me like a person, not like a nut. If you have never had a diagnosed chronic mental illness, unless you are unusually empathetic, you will truly not be able to understand what I'm talking about. I respect that. He could've been a prick and said, "suffer," but he was cool and he gave me the Zofran (the brilliant anti nausea medicine, phenergan sucks compared to it) and the Dilaudid.

Okay. 2 in the morning Sunday morning. I'm in again. Dehydrated. In pain. I'm taken in and hooked up to an IV right away. They have some brilliant people in the Columbus ER right now as far as hooking up IV's go. And my veins are horrible! Small, tiny and they love to move. I got the trifecta of fucked up veins. Anyway, this time they get me in and hook me up to a liter of fluids, gave me the Zofran and the Dilaudid right away. The pain is unreal. Seriously unreal. But the Dilaudid took it down to an 8 the last time they asked (10 minutes later). Then the pain started to go down. Way down. I'm halfway asleep and visiting the Andromeda galaxy when all of a sudden I go from 2,500,000 light years away to the moment of the big bang. The nurse had loaded me with what I thought was saline, but it ended up being another Zofran and ANOTHER full dose of Dilaudid. I look at the nurse and go, "Do you know when my uncle's birthday is?" and immediately felt like a tard. It was only 2 1/2 hours later. Holy shit. I was unable to walk out of the ER that night. But I went home, slept, and have been keeping down clear liquids and toast ever since.

I'm still sick. I have some kind of really fucked up stomach bug. It's not the flu, but whatever it is, the fucker is a mean ass virus. Vicious. I'm still having bouts of diarrhea, though I'm able to keep hydrated. I haven't seen my daughter since Thursday morning. But this is a vicious bug and I would not want to see her with it. Holy mother of God.

So the boyfriend's been on his own.

Another reason I've been away? I've had no internet. Fucking comcast has to bring me a USB capable modem, doesn't leave the installation disk for the hardware, go to the local office, they don't support it anymore! I have to buy a $30 USB to Ethernet adaptor. Good thing I know how to bitch, because I got $40 taken off my Comcast bill. So there. NOW I FINALLY HAS INTERNET! May the world rejoice! What an ordeal!

I'm tired of the inside of hospital rooms. Thank God I didn't have to stay...but ER's and hospitals and IV's and hospital beds and pain and sick and dizziness...over it already! Please let me feel better soon!

I'm going to see my Dr. and ask to see a urologist because I think there may be something fucked up with my kidneys or my bladder. Having this pain reoccur every few months...it's not normal. My brain gives me enough issues, my body doesn't need to crap out on me too.

Interesting, makes you think.

The notion of God as the Creator is wrong, claims a top academic, who believes the Bible has been wrongly translated for thousands of years.

This may piss off the people who ardently claim, despite any kind of irrefutable logic, that the Earth is only 5,000 years old. I mean, if you have faith, why do you have to reconcile it to a timeline? Why 5,000 years? I don't recall the Bible itself actually giving a creation date.

Honestly, I find nothing earth shattering in the above claim. The Earth could have already been here, but life wasn't. Isn't God supposed to be a creator of life? Translations of an ancient document over time (The Bible)...well, a lot of the original intended meaning was probably lost. Think about it. Even if God did write it, you really think we could get it right? There are problems in translation at times even when you speak the same language as the person you're trying to understand. Hebrew was translated into Greek, Latin, a fuckload of other languages and *finally* English. And then King James had to have his own version. Then there is the whole Catholic/Protestant thing.

I just don't think we'll ever fully get it, this side of life.

Any thoughts? Feel free to say anything. I love hearing from everyone else's viewpoints.

I peed with joy

It started with this and quickly sploded into an internet clusterfuck.

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS? A new level of stupid has been attained. And now, there are T-shirts even!

But the funny really begins with this story.

Topless Robot is made of awesome!

And now I'm kind of backish.

A few days ago I just got out of the hospital. AGAIN.

UTI. AGAIN.

I'm seriously getting over seeing the inside of a fucking hospital room. And I'm still not feeling great. Hence, the rant below. I'm feeling extremely weak, and am currently riding the red river with Auntie Flo.

The next idiot who crosses my path will die a death of 1,000 stomps to their stupid face.

Aaaaand if having a UTI and Aunt Flo's lovely visit isn't enough......it's looking like Homegirl Mania's here to hang out.

Oh boy.

I just hope the crash doesn't come before Sunday, damnit. I have a 6 year anniversary coming up!

In other news...I'm kind of making an experimental rant journal. Not too sure how much I'll use it. Especially since I can't code Blogger layout to save my ass. It's called BitchPuppy.