So good news on the girly part front (TMI, clearly labled TMI)

I got a referral from my doctor yesterday. I love her!

So I get to go see a gynecologist, to see why in the hell I'm bleeding 3x in a month and a half. On March 15th at 2:30. I'm probably waiting, because I specifically asked for a female doctor. I've never had a guy give me a full exam (except when I first went into labor, one of the men was on duty, but as I was having strong contractions every 3 minutes, I would've let Charles Manson give me an exam as long as he had the power of Epidural).

So...for the first time in my life, I'm actually looking forward to having an exam (and maybe a pap) to see why the hell my uterus hates me sooo much?

And now I'm kind of backish.

A few days ago I just got out of the hospital. AGAIN.

UTI. AGAIN.

I'm seriously getting over seeing the inside of a fucking hospital room. And I'm still not feeling great. Hence, the rant below. I'm feeling extremely weak, and am currently riding the red river with Auntie Flo.

The next idiot who crosses my path will die a death of 1,000 stomps to their stupid face.

Aaaaand if having a UTI and Aunt Flo's lovely visit isn't enough......it's looking like Homegirl Mania's here to hang out.

Oh boy.

I just hope the crash doesn't come before Sunday, damnit. I have a 6 year anniversary coming up!

In other news...I'm kind of making an experimental rant journal. Not too sure how much I'll use it. Especially since I can't code Blogger layout to save my ass. It's called BitchPuppy.

Another unpleasant side effect of Aunt Flo's visit

Warning: Lots of sex shit mentioned. If you don't like to read about sex, don't read any further. I'm not cutting it because...well, you don't need a reason. So there.

It seems every fucking month, when Aunt Flo shows up, I become uncontrollably horny. I have a high sex drive anyway, but during shark week, it's like "I wanna fuck now x 5,000".

And yet I hate period sex. I will not have period sex. Non-period sex is messy enough. Besides, the first few days of my rag time, there's a mini massacre in my pants. The red river doth flow out of my vagina. Making sex of the peen and vag kind impossible. In my universe.

Which leads me to the subject of masturbation. During the week of the red tide, I must masturbate. Because if I don't, I'll end up raping my poor boyfriend. Which, normally, he wouldn't mind, but he doesn't think much of period sex either. It's happened before, on accident, when Aunt Flo decides to show up during morning hard on time and before I get up to discover her red carpet has been laid out.

Thank God for toys that are easily cleaned off.

My friend Patty and I agree

I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy.

Farts are hilarious. So are burps.

So when my boyfriend stopped up the toilet today after taking a massive shit, I was rolling on the floor.

But there is a limit.

My darling boyfriend ate some salsa tonight and has been having rank salsa burps all night long.

By the way, the tags should've been a clue.

Love ya!